{"id":105,"date":"2013-03-04T14:47:58","date_gmt":"2013-03-04T14:47:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/?p=105"},"modified":"2014-01-22T11:05:13","modified_gmt":"2014-01-22T11:05:13","slug":"the-second-anniversary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/the-second-anniversary\/","title":{"rendered":"The Second Anniversary"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"FINALSPIN\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cSusan and Stephen want us all to come for brunch on Tuesday,\u201d say my friend Liz and her daughter, Nicole, over the phone on Friday.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t. I have my class on Tuesday,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell how about breakfast on Monday then?\u201d Liz asks.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I can\u2019t on Monday.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatcha got going on Monday?\u201d she pushes.<\/p>\n

\u201cMonday\u2019s the second anniversary of Marika\u2019s dying. I don\u2019t want to do a get-together with people then. It\u2019s the wrong kind of energy,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell what ARE you doing for Monday?\u201d she prods.<\/p>\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t really figured it out yet. Something quiet, reflective, alone. Light candles. Walk with Suki around the pond? I don\u2019t know yet. Maybe a campfire, yeah, she loved campfires.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell let me know how we can help,\u201d Liz says.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou wanna help me build a campfire?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the snow?\u201d she laughs nervously knowing I\u2019m serious.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. A campfire in the snow. A little warmth in all the wet and cold. I don\u2019t know,\u201d I say sensing a mutual doubt about this proposal. \u201cI need to think. With March 4th coming up I\u2019ve been worried and confused for days. There\u2019s no way I\u2019m gonna be fit for company on Monday,\u201d I end the conversation.<\/p>\n

It is my season of hailstorms and hurricanes, this 2 \u00bd month period from March 4th to Mothers\u2019 Day. In between those dates fall my birthday and Marika\u2019s. These are all opportunities to wallow in misery and close off the world. My mind whirls painfully as I try to sort out what this day really means and how I should commemorate it. What keeps coming up is my Aunt Bertha. My favorite aunt lost her husband on her birthday over forty years ago. To this day, during the entire month of August, she refuses to let us visit her or wish her well. She has kept mostly to herself for almost half a century, feeding on little other than her immense sorrow.<\/p>\n

The day my daughter died was the worst day in both our lives. It\u2019s a date I\u2019ll never be able to forget but why should I celebrate this day? The only good thing about it was the kindness, the support, of so many friends. I would never have come through that day and the past two years without my friends.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey Nicole,\u201d I call back. Did you and Liz finalize a day for the breakfast or brunch yet? Because I think a breakfast with friends is EXACTLY what I need on Monday.\u201d
\n\"MESPINNING\"<\/a>
\nSo today, in recognition of the day two years ago when I lost Marika but found my caring community, I sat by the pond, remembering the good things about Marika and my life with her. And then I took Suki to breakfast with Liz and Nicole at Susan and Stephen\u2019s house. My friends, Barb and Jan, took me out for lunch with Brie. I took Marika\u2019s friend Rachel and her new wife out for sushi dinner. And in between, because the assignment in photo class this week was to take 70 pictures of people in their environments, I went to Dennis and Virginia\u2019s and Dan and Celia\u2019s with my camera, counting friends, counting my blessings.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Susan and Stephen want us all to come for brunch on Tuesday,” say my friend Liz and her daughter, Nicole, over the phone on Friday. “I can’t. I have my class on Tuesday,” I say. “Well how about breakfast on Monday then?” Liz asks. “No, I can’t on Monday.” “Whatcha got going on Monday?” she […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-105","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-25"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=105"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=105"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=105"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=105"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}