![](\"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/ReachingOutPost-4-1024x1020.jpg\" "\\"Reaching")
The best relief from my own grief comes when I reach out to help someone else in their troubles. But one thing I still find impossibly hard is to reach out for help when I\u2019m the one suffering.<\/p>\nThe best relief from my own grief comes when I reach out to help someone else in their troubles. But one thing I still find impossibly hard is to reach out for help when I\u2019m the one suffering.<\/p>\n
Last week, driving back from the airport after saying goodbye to the one I love most in this world, I had to pull off the road and stop the car several times, unable to see through my tears. Finally arriving home, I howled in the driveway, begging, pleading, praying, …sobbing into my dog\u2019s fur. I tried to summon my courage, strength, the spirits of my dead father and daughter. I even called on god. But the aching grew worse.<\/p>\n
\u201cLove the grief. Learn to live with the pain,\u201d and \u201cYou are not alone, you can do this,\u201d I went through all my mantras aloud. I desperately wanted to go back in time, to the night before, when we\u2019d clinked our glasses of whiskey. \u201cTo you and your adventure,\u201d I\u2019d said cheerfully, looking more at the ice swimming in the whiskey than at the eyes of the one I love. Now there would be no eyes to watch, no celebrating, no more late nights toasting to the future.<\/p>\n
Empty-nest-syndrome. A hole in my heart almost as big as when my daughter died. No need to bother anyone else about this, I told myself. Don\u2019t be a burden, don\u2019t be a wimp. It was late enough I could simply take a pill and go to sleep. And I thought how sad it was, having no one to announce to, \u201cI\u2019m going to bed.\u201d And that started the tears and howling all over again until I thought of someone who might understand. Gasping for breath, I phoned her.<\/p>\n
After sputtering out my story I said, \u201cI\u2019m okay, I just needed someone to say goodnight to.\u201d That was pretty much true. So every day since, I\u2019ve been phoning family and friends. Good morning. Goodnight. And sometimes I don\u2019t know anymore if I\u2019m reaching out to help or be helped. But maybe it\u2019s all the same in the end.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
What does reaching out mean to you?<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The best relief from my own grief comes when I reach out to help someone else in their troubles. But one thing I still find impossibly hard is to reach out for help when I’m the one suffering. Last week, driving back from the airport after saying goodbye to the one I love most in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1062],"tags":[1067,1068,438,1063,247,784,1065,1066,1064,682],"class_list":["post-1444","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1062","tag-asking-for-help","tag-connecting-with-people","tag-coping-with-loss","tag-empty-nest-syndrome","tag-grief","tag-healing","tag-hole-in-my-heart","tag-reach-out-and-touch-someone","tag-reaching-out","tag-you-are-not-alone"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t