{"id":2146,"date":"2018-06-11T06:30:22","date_gmt":"2018-06-11T10:30:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/?p=2146"},"modified":"2018-06-11T07:24:17","modified_gmt":"2018-06-11T11:24:17","slug":"fathering-continued-beyond-the-grave","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/fathering-continued-beyond-the-grave\/","title":{"rendered":"Fathering Continued Beyond the Grave"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Robin<\/a><\/p>\n

Father\u2019s Day when your father is no longer around can be a time of bewilderment. Especially when it seems your father continues fathering from beyond the grave. Although my dad has been dead for eight years, I can still hear his words. Sometimes he is encouraging. Proud of me. Other times his words are filled with doubt and directives.<\/span><\/p>\n

My father\u2019s ghost shows up every time I spend more than the cost of a meal in a good restaurant. He says, You don\u2019t need this; spend your money on something worthwhile. Dad makes me feel like mopping the floor with my tongue when I\u2019ve spent money on something that doesn\u2019t work out, like the Roto Rooter guy who charged me the $175 minimum service fee and then left without fixing the garage drain problem.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dad sneers, This is the way you balance your checking account? and I shrink. He tells me, Never lend money to family. Be good to your sisters. Be generous to your friends. Spoil your dog; that\u2019s your best friend. You don\u2019t need a husband.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I race home from Wegmans, throw bags of groceries in the fridge, wolf down dinner, and drag the dog for a quick potty before dashing off to some event across town and, in the scurry, misplace the car keys… Dad says, This is a hell of a way to live.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I burn dinner, he suggests, Okay, now we go out to a nice restaurant. He chuckles at me dancing with the dog to John Philip Sousa\u2019s marching band music, and persuades me to play every army bugle call<\/a> I can find online.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dad points out the honeysuckle that needs trimming, and the tiny dings in the car\u2019s fender that should be painted before rust sets in. And the raccoon that lives under my deck, named Oscar after the squirrel Dad used to feed on his porch – sometimes I think the \u2018coon is my father reincarnated, now overseeing my weed-whacking.<\/span><\/p>\n

From the other side, from beyond the great divide, from wherever he is or is not on Father\u2019s Day, I can hear my father louder than usual. His words comfort me like old familiar songs even though they mostly remind me I\u2019ve been careless or done something stupid. Most of the time he has a valid point.<\/span><\/p>\n

What voices do you hear from your father? What does Fathers Day mean to you?<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Father’s Day when your father is no longer around can be a time of bewilderment. Especially when it seems your father continues fathering from beyond the grave. Although my dad has been dead for eight years, I can still hear his words. Sometimes he is encouraging. Proud of me. Other times his words are filled […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1432],"tags":[1589,1592,862,667,1590,1588,1591],"class_list":["post-2146","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1432","tag-fathering-beyond-the-grave","tag-fathering-continued-beyond-the-grave","tag-fathers-day","tag-from-the-other-side","tag-leaving-a-legacy","tag-my-fathers-ghost","tag-words-of-wisdom-from-my-father"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t