{"id":2465,"date":"2019-05-13T07:35:34","date_gmt":"2019-05-13T11:35:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/?p=2465"},"modified":"2019-05-14T11:02:32","modified_gmt":"2019-05-14T15:02:32","slug":"finding-gratitude-when-everyone-seems-to-be-dying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/finding-gratitude-when-everyone-seems-to-be-dying\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding Gratitude When Everyone Seems to be Dying"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Robin<\/a>\u201cAll I ever do is go to funerals,\u201d my father used to complain, after he retired. And here I am, myself, counting funerals and memorials as major components of my social life these days. Seems I\u2019ve gotten to the age where the people I care about are dropping like flies, one right after the other. I\u2019m not yet sure how to be at peace with so much loss. But I\u2019m learning.<\/span><\/p>\n

Confession: Until my daughter died, anything to do with death or dying or dead bodies terrified me. I am one of those who never went to people\u2019s funerals.<\/span>
\n\u201cWe should spend time with our loved ones BEFORE they die,\u201d I used to rationalize. But eight years ago I experienced tremendous love and support when hundreds from the community came out in the cold pouring rain to my daughter\u2019s calling hours. After that, I decided to always show up and reach out to the broken-hearted\u00a0 bereaved.<\/span><\/p>\n

On the event of last week\u2019s new moon, I made another new intention: to try to view death through a lens of gratitude rather than sorrow or pain. Not sure about how to find gratitude when everyone seems to be dying, I wanted to be grateful for the time I had with my beloved-ones and for the ways they touched me. Maybe I could even be grateful for the pain\u2014my own, and others\u2019, since recognizing and sharing the pain is what helps us heal.<\/span><\/p>\n

Friends and family members are going to keep on dying. This is how it\u2019s been forever, and how it will be the longer one lives. Yet I will howl and stomp and drive off alone into the far hills mourning the loss of them, until I drop down exhausted, and then finally remember\u2014gratitude and presence.<\/span><\/p>\n

The rabbi officiating at my aunt\u2019s funeral last week looked around at all of us who showed up, and said,<\/span>
\n\u201cEach one of you is a memorial to her life.\u201d I remembered that, as I returned home later that day and found my front lawn dotted with bright dandelions. Memorials to life itself. Ordinary, plain, not very big or powerful, each bloom contributed to the magnificent glow welcoming me. Consoling me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes simply being there, showing up and shining with your best intentions, can ease someone\u2019s aching heart. And fill your own hurting heart to its capacity, gushing with the warmest gratitude.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How or where have you found gratitude during painful times? Who are you missing today?<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“All I ever do is go to funerals,” my father used to complain, after he retired. And here I am, myself, counting funerals and memorials as major components of my social life these days. Seems I’ve gotten to the age where the people I care about are dropping like flies, one right after the other. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1758],"tags":[1876,1878,1880,1877,1883,1885,1884,1881,1882,1879],"class_list":["post-2465","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1758","tag-at-peace-with-loss","tag-attend-the-funeral","tag-everyone-dies","tag-funerals-are-for-the-living","tag-gratitude-and-death","tag-gratitude-and-presence","tag-gratitude-in-grief","tag-people-keep-dying","tag-the-pain-of-losing-someone","tag-when-your-friends-start-dying"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2465","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2465"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2465\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2465"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2465"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2465"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}