{"id":29,"date":"2013-08-05T07:39:48","date_gmt":"2013-08-05T07:39:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/?p=29"},"modified":"2014-01-22T11:06:18","modified_gmt":"2014-01-22T11:06:18","slug":"healing-from-loss-sharing-my-words","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/healing-from-loss-sharing-my-words\/","title":{"rendered":"Healing from Loss: Sharing my Words"},"content":{"rendered":"

Suki and I went on the Sunday morning hike this morning. But my mind was already at the bookstore <\/span>where I would be reading from my book in the afternoon. I\u2019d practiced, reading to Suki every day the past week, eliminating excess words to fit into the allotted 8 minutes. But even this morning I was not satisfied and not confident that I could pull this off. If I read some parts quickly I might get by but I had to chop some favorite paragraphs. <\/span><\/p>\n

Then there was the weather. I\u2019d exhausted myself taking out the raincoat and then putting it away, trying on the long skirt and the short skirt and then <\/span>pants, eyeing the sandals but considering the cowboy boots. It was a day filled with a bit of everything in alternating patterns: rain, sun, clouds, cold and warmth \u2026 I took a big purse with the raincoat, plastic bags, a sweater, and extra shoes. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 The hourly changes in weather reflected my range of emotions. At home, reading to Suki, I cried and laughed. I punched the timer when it <\/span>went off before I finished my passage. <\/span>\u00a0Arriving early at Buffalo Street Books, I worried that no one would come. I complained, I hugged. I nearly severed the director\u2019s hands in my eager attempt to be helpful setting up the plastic chairs. Drawing my number for the order in which to read I was elated to get the second spot. But shortly after, I learned there would be no microphone. Looking frantically out over the small sea of chairs I fretted that my voice would not project. Sitting and waiting was i<\/span>mpossible. I went to the ladies room twice. Finally people started to straggle in. So I took a deep breath and reminded myself that this was what I\u2019d wished and worked for. And then Bob who runs the show says,<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you feel about going first?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\"FIRSTREAD\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

As I introduced myself I looked around. The audience was full of friends. The<\/span>y want me to do well, I told myself. And I wanted them to know I\u2019m okay, that I\u2019m back in the world after my years of <\/span>heartbreak and sorrow, and that I have a story to share. And so I began.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 When I read, it\u2019s like I am slow-dancing with the words. Even when I read the works of others, I am transported to where the words lead, to their rhythms and the images that rise up around me. The book is my partner and I am wrapped in its hold, breathing in its scent, my cheek against a rough chin for a moment before burying my f<\/span>ace in its warm pulsing neck. I am completely engaged in following, stepping quickly then sliding, slow. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Somehow I mana<\/span>ged to read all my words before I ran out of time. The dance en<\/span>ded and I thanked my audience.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Right away I knew I wanted to do it again. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Suki and I went on the Sunday morning hike this morning. But my mind was already at the bookstore where I would be reading from my book in the afternoon. I’d practiced, reading to Suki every day the past week, eliminating excess words to fit into the allotted 8 minutes. But even this morning I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-25"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t