{"id":348,"date":"2013-11-11T13:10:38","date_gmt":"2013-11-11T13:10:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/?p=348"},"modified":"2014-01-22T11:08:52","modified_gmt":"2014-01-22T11:08:52","slug":"healing-from-loss-finding-gifts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/healing-from-loss-finding-gifts\/","title":{"rendered":"Healing from Loss: Finding Gifts"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Robin<\/a> \u201cMom, you hafta follow the chocolates and read the clues to get your present,\u201d Marika said, over five years ago. And 50 chocolate kisses later I found an elegant dinner of Caesar salad and linguini laced with red sauce, shrimp and scallops. There were flowers on the table. And candles and chocolate cake.<\/p>\n

I was not her favorite person. To say the least. But on holidays she was generous. She always had something red for me. A new red sweater, capris, socks. Red velvet cake.<\/p>\n

When she died, first I thought all I had left of her was her dog, her clothes, and a few songs. Then came the surprises:<\/p>\n

The tiny book she\u2019d made for me when she was eleven, that fell out of my night-table on Christmas Eve after she died. The Welcome Home Mom sign with a rabbit drawn in a heart that I found the day before I left to scatter her ashes in Australia. And her journals with the poems and prose that inspired me to write and then changed my life.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s like getting a gift each time I discover something of Marika\u2019s. She died 2 \u00bd years ago; there can\u2019t possibly be anything more to find of hers, I tell myself.<\/p>\n

But last month, putting on her warm fleece jacket, I found a little plastic spoon and a Papa John\u2019s Pizza gift-card for $20 in the pocket. An Old Navy card with $9.56 surfaced in her old closet recently. I found her watch in a box left in the garage. And last week in the mail there was a notice about her inactive investment account.<\/p>\n

As the days grow darker and the holidays draw near, I gather all these \u201cgifts.\u201d At this time of the year I used to plan what presents I would give her. And now I consider all the ways she has gifted me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Mom, you hafta follow the chocolates and read the clues to get your present,” Marika said, over five years ago. And 50 chocolate kisses later I found an elegant dinner of Caesar salad and linguini laced with red sauce, shrimp and scallops. There were flowers on the table. And candles and chocolate cake. I was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-25"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t