{"id":411,"date":"2014-01-20T14:23:58","date_gmt":"2014-01-20T14:23:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/?p=411"},"modified":"2014-10-01T21:26:22","modified_gmt":"2014-10-02T01:26:22","slug":"healing-after-loss-giving-gifts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/healing-after-loss-giving-gifts\/","title":{"rendered":"Healing After Loss: Giving Gifts"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Robin<\/a> \u201cOh, what I did with the money this time, for my mother – \u201d my friend Valentina reports to me, grinning, almost a month after the holidays.<\/p>\n

For over ten years Valentina has been giving me handcrafted boxes from Russia, cookies, candies, \u2026 Long ago I started giving her gifts <\/a>too. But during the years in and out of hospitals <\/a>with my daughter who had leukemia I couldn\u2019t bring myself to buy or make gifts<\/a>. That\u2019s when I started to give money. Which I doubled, once I learned that it was going to her family in Siberia.<\/p>\n

Sharing always made me feel good, even in times of sorrow. Giving Valentina money and clothes to send to Siberia became something to look forward to. A card with pictures of Russian dogs always came back, with handwritten notes of thanks and printed greetings in Russian letters. English translations under the message would thank me and God-Bless me for the pig or the cow that the money had secured.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, this time I bought \u2013 don\u2019t laugh,\u201d Valentina says, and I\u2019m thinking maybe she bought chickens this year, or rabbits. But the look on her face tells me it\u2019s something big. A horse?<\/p>\n

\u201cI bought for my mother – \u201d she says, and I remember the photos she showed me of her mother, a small but sturdy woman at work in her garden or in her simple house. Of all Valentina\u2019s sisters, brothers, and other family members I\u2019ve heard about over the years, her mother has become my favorite.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou will laugh, Robin,\u201d she says, \u201cbut this is very special.\u201d I can hardly wait to hear how the mother, with two grown sons living in the tiny house with her, will have milk or meat to eat this year.<\/p>\n

\u201cI bought my mother a toilet.\u201d<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t laugh. But my smile grows as I consider my gift. Then I do laugh when Valentina insists I take a photo of myself and my dog and cat \u2013 and my toilet too – to send to her mother who now shows off her new toilet, the first in the neighborhood. I picture red-cheeked neighbors wrapped in scarves, stopping by to see this gift, maybe even test it out. And I see Valentina\u2019s mother, who I may never meet, grateful to no longer have to traipse outside to the outhouse in the Siberian winter.<\/p>\n

And later that night, sitting on my own porcelain throne, I send wishes for health and warmth out to all the mothers in Siberia. And all the children in the world, young and old, who keep half their hearts in places far away, with the ones they love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Oh, what I did with the money this time, for my mother – ” my friend Valentina reports to me, grinning, almost a month after the holidays. For over ten years Valentina has been giving me handcrafted boxes from Russia, cookies, candies, … Long ago I started giving her gifts too. But during the years […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[22,20,19,21],"class_list":["post-411","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1","tag-family-in-siberia","tag-giving-gifts","tag-healing-after-loss","tag-siberian-winter"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t