{"id":713,"date":"2014-12-22T08:20:19","date_gmt":"2014-12-22T13:20:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/?p=713"},"modified":"2014-12-22T08:25:32","modified_gmt":"2014-12-22T13:25:32","slug":"surviving-family-reunion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/robinbotie.com\/blog\/surviving-family-reunion\/","title":{"rendered":"Surviving a Family Reunion"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"At<\/a>At the dinner party on the last night of our annual family reunion<\/a>, I surveyed the dining room for a seat.<\/p>\n

The Kids\u2019 Table was bustling with parents settling their young children. I remembered years back, reluctantly leaving my babies at the Kids\u2019 Table and watching from the Parents\u2019 Table as they ate more and laughed more without me hovering over them. My 26-year-old son now sat with his 30-something year-old single cousins at the Kids\u2019 Table, along with adorable almost-2-year-old Tovah.<\/p>\n

Glancing over at the Big Table, I thought of my father and long gone white-haired grandparents. And my uncles, Henry and Martin, who sat there not so long ago. It was always the smallest table but it was where the big people sat so we called it the Big Table. It was the table that got served first and was closest to where the food was parked. My favorite cousin, Brigite, was sitting at the Big Table because she was the organizer of the event and both her parents sat at that table.<\/p>\n

I was about to take a seat next to my sister and other cousins at the Parents\u2019 Table when Brigite beckoned to me, \u201cRobin, sit here.\u201d Immediately, without a word to my sister, I flew to the empty seat next to Brigite, at the Big Table.
\n\u201cThank you so much for inviting me to sit here. I\u2019m so thrilled,\u201d I told her as we waited for our appetizers.
\n\u201cRobin,\u201d she said, raising an eyebrow and twisting her head to address me directly. \u201cI need to give you a little perspective here.\u201d One of her eyes was wincing. \u201cThere\u2019s Number 1.\u201d She pointed to her father, my Uncle Max, who sat across from us staring into space with a smile. \u201cThere\u2019s Number 2,\u201d she said, indicating her mother. \u201cNumber 3, Number 4.\u201d Our Aunts Bope and Terri. She poked her head in the direction of her older brother, \u201cHe\u2019s Number 5.\u201d Then she looked squarely at me with somber eyes.
\n\u201cI\u2019m 6. And you\u2019re Number 7.\u201d<\/p>\n

Three sleepless nights later, after I\u2019d calculated that I was Number 5 on my mother\u2019s much smaller side of the family, I knew it wasn\u2019t a numbers game. It was more like musical chairs. If I could stay fast and strong enough, I might be able to bulldoze my way to the last empty chair whenever the music stopped. I intend to live long, for myself and for my daughter who died. Maybe I will be the one to live to a hundred.
\nBut I will not be the first. Several times during the reunion I heard it said of my Uncle Max (Number 1) that he\u2019s gonna outlive us all.<\/p>\n

How do you survive the sad element of loss at family reunions?<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

At the dinner party on the last night of our annual family reunion, I surveyed the dining room for a seat. The Kids’ Table was bustling with parents settling their young children. I remembered years back, reluctantly leaving my babies at the Kids’ Table and watching from the Parents’ Table as they ate more and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[356,207,360,364,357,361,363,359,362,358],"class_list":["post-713","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1","tag-an-empty-chair","tag-daughter-died","tag-death-and-grief","tag-death-in-perspective","tag-family-reunion","tag-getting-together-with-family","tag-nearing-the-end-of-life","tag-outliving-your-child","tag-relatives-dying","tag-surviving-family-members"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t