Do not tell me I’m the only one emailing a dead daughter. I could not have invented this idea myself.
When my daughter Marika was alive, I never saw her Facebook page. And she emailed me only once, to share photos of her new puppy, no words. Last week, clearing out my emailbox, I found that old email. So I sent a reply back. The poor computer churned as it tried to deliver my message. But it stopped eventually, and I sent a second message, expecting the inevitable automatic notices stating the messages were undeliverable. Checking my Sent Box, I saw my emails were indeed delivered. You might be thinking this is silly. It is. And it’s sad. Because before Marika died I did not tell her goodbye or I love you. And last week, in the emails, I did.
So today I’m emailing Marika the mushy-gooshiest Valentine I can conjure up in Photoshop. You’re shaking your head, saying, “Poor Robin’s gone ranting-off-the-roof crazy.” You’re wincing, thinking Valentine’s Day is such a dopey, over-commercialized holiday. But for those of us who don’t often say I Love You, it’s an opportunity to show our love. Inspired by my love for my daughter, I spent hours making this valentine. So after I email it to Marika, I’ll post it to friends on Facebook, and mail it off to family members who don’t have sweethearts this year. Anyone who wants to is welcome to copy and send it to whomever, living or dead.
After all, like the Crosby, Stills & Nash song says, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one[s] you’re with.”
What do you do when you’ve lost someone you used to spoil on Valentine’s Day? Does anyone else ever send emails to their dead loved one?