I met him at the Metropolitan. It was love at first sight. But I didn’t get his name or number.
Am I ready to start a new relationship? Probably not since I’m asking the question. Sometimes I think I will never allow myself to come close to another human being again. Because nothing lasts forever and I don’t know how much loss I can take.
Shortly after my daughter died I found a small gold ring in her room. A ring, an unbroken circle, symbolizes infinity and undying love in many cultures. But this ring was one of those adjustable bands where the ends don’t meet. As soon as I put it on I knew it would snag on something someday and fall off. Nevertheless, I decided to wear Marika’s ring. That it would be okay when I lost it. I would not regret not tucking it away someplace safe.
Can I treat people this way? Like they are not forever?
How differently would we all live if we had expiration dates stamped on us like cartons of milk? What is safe? When is ready?
I promised myself I would learn from Marika. She lived like the lights could go out at any time, like she had only an hour left. She said, “Mom, get a life.” So maybe …