My Experience With a Medium

Robin Botie of Ithaca, New York, photoshops a healing mandala with images of bare trees and her daughter who died of leukemia.There are some things one should never do alone. Like get a tattoo. Drink expensive wine. Or die. Going to some stranger’s house to track down your child who’s been dead five years is definitely one of those things you need to do with a friend.

“I have a message from your daughter,” I’d been told by two different people shortly after Marika’s death. “She wants you to know she’s okay.” I’d ignored these “messages.” For years it never occurred to me they might be anything more than senseless remarks thrown at me to squelch my sadness.

Then one day I met another bereaved mother who, in all her grief, was disintegrating and dying right in front of me. When I saw her again, a month later, she was bright-eyed and bouncing. “I saw a medium,” she beamed. And even though I was skeptical about such things, I started reading The Light Between Us by Laura Lynne Jackson. I read After This: When Life is over Where Do We Go? by Claire Bidwell Smith, and other books about afterlife and contacting deceased loved ones. It made me wonder, what if they’re not gone? What if their spirits remain somehow?

It was only right that I test the idea out. It would be an adventure. It could lead to joy. Wasn’t that my mission these days – to find joy? But when it came down to actually setting up an appointment, I kept finding excuses to put off the call. And I realized I was terrified. Because not knowing for sure meant anything was possible. Seeing a medium could verify that part of my daughter was indeed still here with me. But if I went to a medium and had my doubts confirmed, I could lose all my hope.

Another friend agreed to share a session with a medium. She sat next to me on a small couch in a cozy room while a lot of “spirits,” visible only to our medium, hung out in the space around us. At each question or communication I turned my head to see my friend nod and smile. Our eyes met only a few times, when what was presented didn’t apply to her, “No one I know.” “Not for me either,” I said.

No one and nothing “came out” for me. Except that I was an artist. The medium was adamant, I should explore my artistic abilities. And in my head I was screaming, “I’ve been an artist over half a century. But can’t you see I’ve lost my daughter? Where’s Marika? I want my father, my Omi Rosie.” They didn’t show up. I almost cried.

“I want to go back again for another reading,” my friend said as we got in the car.


What experience have you had with mediums or contacting loved ones who have died? Do you believe our spirits live on after death?




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10 thoughts on “My Experience With a Medium

    1. Robin Botie Post author

      Well, Annette, spirits aren’t for everyone. I’m learning this. People have emailed me and phoned me lately because of my unsuccessful reading with the medium. But I’m hoping to someday be able to tell you otherwise. And if you end up “on the other side” before I do, I’m hoping you’ll send me a sign. Maybe you will haunt me for the rest of my days. I’m pretty certain you’d like that idea. So I’ll be looking for you. And if I go first – then I’ll be pinching you and prodding you until you scream out, “I believe.”

  1. Elaine Mansfield

    Yes, brave you. After a chiropractor recommended her, I went to a medical intuitive to explore Meniere’s Disease symptoms, cause, any info to help with my floundering health. She said I should stop wearing hearing aids and stop seeing friends who didn’t speak ASL. My dear friends who had stood by me through thick and thin? What about my sons? Did I dump them all if they didn’t learn ASL–fluently. After a few more stabs that went nowhere, I should have left. But she said Vic was in the room. She’d already said I was difficult because I resisted giving up the community I’d been part of for 50 years, so I wanted to cooperate.

    She said, “Vic tells you not to worry about his mother. She’s with him and he’s taking care of her.”
    “You mean his mother died and she’s with him now?” I asked.
    “Yes,” she said with a sweet smile.
    “But his mother is alive,” I said.
    “Oh, well, she’s probably going to die soon,” she said. That was well over five years ago. What does soon mean?
    Then she said, “Your husband is sorry he wasn’t a good husband.”
    “But he was a terrific husband,” I said, “and he would never apologize about not being a good husband. Maybe something specific? Was there a specific issue?”
    There wasn’t. It was a bust, although others told me they got help from her. Maybe I’m just too difficult, but I truly hoped for help with my symptoms which were out of control at the time.

    1. Robin Botie Post author

      Oh, I love this story, Elaine. That’s a bit like the reading I had. I’m giving up on that medium but I’m not giving up on mediums entirely. Marika would never have chosen this person I think. I believe there has to be a match three ways maybe, between me, Marika, and medium. To be continued I guess. Must investigate “medical intuitives.” Or maybe not. I must say that I cannot imagine you as being “difficult.” Now me – I am Difficult. For sure. I hope you’ve gotten the help you needed. Imagine – giving up your peeps who don’t sign. Yeesh!

  2. Lynne Taetzsch

    Thanks for writing about this, Robin. It must have been a very difficult experience.

    I have no advice or recommendation–have not tried this path myself.

    If you do choose to try again with another medium, please let us know what happens.

    1. Robin Botie Post author

      I am definitely going to let you know, Lynne, when I try this again. Unless it’s extremely embarrassing. And maybe even then. Part of why I considered going in the first place was to have something to blog about. And then, as it got closer to the time and I read all the books on how to prepare for a reading, I got very invested in the whole thing. The next time will be because I’ve heard from so many others about their good experiences, on Facebook and through phone calls and emails. So I’m serious about this “path.” For the time being anyway. More later, I hope. Cheers!

  3. SusanBs

    “Because not knowing for sure meant anything was possible.” What you believe or want to believe is available to you anytime you choose to believe Robin. If you want to believe Marika goes on in some beautiful other worldly place and you’ll be reunited one day then that dream is yours for the taking – all you need is faith. And you have a heart full of faith. It shows up in your writing and in your art and you plant seeds of faith for everyone of us who follow you. I’m a whole – lot not religious and a little bit spiritual because I like how believing in something makes me feel and I certainly do have faith that one day we will be reunited with our children because there have been many “signs.” Besides, the alternative to not believing gives me no warmth.

    1. Robin Botie Post author

      “No warmth.” I know what you mean, Susan. Because I walked around with no warmth for a week after that reading. But there was a lot of encouragement on Facebook. I will try again. Faith is something I’m always nervous about. I guess I’ve lost my faith or trust in things too many times. I, also, am “not religious and a little bit spiritual.” Mostly I follow my heart. I guess you noticed that. And my heart appreciates anything anybody else has found helpful. So, whether or not I knew it, sooner or later it was going to come down to trying out mediums. I do believe I might have called that nonsense in the not-too-distant past. Flip-flopping. Not well-received in politics. I kinda think flip-flopping is healthy when it reflects a lot of thought. Or trial and error. Wishing you signs and warmth, Susan.

  4. Monica

    Robin-Brave you! I would encourage you to try again with a different medium. As with any service, it may take a few tries to find a person who is a good fit for you. The first time I went to a medium (I’ve only gone twice), I scheduled a tarot card reading because I was curious about it as my daughter had a couple sets. The medium did not actually use tarot cards but rather some other side of “angel” cards which created a conversation between us to get things going. I purposely did not introduce myself as a mother who lost her daughter of course because I wanted to see what might unfold. My experience was incredible and affirming and did much more than satisfied my curiosity. I was fearful also, both going in to the appointment and throughout the 30 minutes I found myself shaky and wringing my hands. The medium “saw” my daughter walk in with me and she named or described other passed loved ones who welcomed my daughter upon her passing. I found the experience incredible because I only gave my first name when scheduling the appointment, so there was no way this person could have looked me up online to get background information. It felt like an authentic connection to me. This happened after Lena had been gone at least a decade. She came through very strongly.

    I hope you consider trying again. Much love to you today and always.

    1. Robin Botie Post author

      Okay. I’m gonna try again with a new medium. I would be so thrilled to be told “I saw your daughter walk in with you.” I’m being careful not to expose who I am since I’ve got all my info spread all over the internet. So good to hear that Lena came through for you even after a decade. Thanks for sending me hope, Monica. It’s so exciting again.


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