For the Rest of My Life

With eyes bloodshot from crying, Robin Botie of Ithaca, New York, Photoshops a rose over her rosy veined face.The past few years, I cried so much over the death of my daughter, I thought I was scouring my eyes bloodshot. But when my eyes were still red and itchy after a two-week period without tears, I went to see an eye doctor.

“Ocular rosacea,” he said. And I immediately blasted him with questions. “No, it’s not cancer,” he assured me. “No, you won’t lose your eyesight.”

Rosacea was not unfamiliar to me. I’d had the rosy veined cheeks for years, inherited from my father. It gave me a healthy glow and I loved the sound of the name Rose Aysha, until I learned how it was really spelled. I had no idea one could get rosacea in the eyes. Believing I’d wrecked my eyes entirely by grieving, I soon learned that emotional stress, as well as wine, chocolate, spicy foods, sun, wind, exercise, and all the things that give me joy contribute to this condition.

We can control the symptoms,” the doctor said, “but this will be with you for the rest of your life.” That blew the whites out of my eyeballs completely. My daylight was shattered as if a death sentence had been delivered.

Later, when I realized I was going to survive fairly unscathed, I thought to myself, it’s a stinking shame we can’t choose what or who gets to stay with us for life.


Who or what can you say will be with you for the rest of your life? What joy-busters will follow you forever?

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9 thoughts on “For the Rest of My Life

  1. Jody

    Your pictures reflect so much and in- depth. So interesting.
    Certainly thankful your eyes are ok also. Keep blogging along.?

    1. Robin Botie Post author

      I hope you like this next picture, Jody. My eyes were seeing stars after photoshopping all the borders to get a “swallowed” effect. Thanks for checking in.

  2. susanb

    Awwwww rose acia suxs for sure Robin. But you truly know how to make an entertaining read.

    1. Robin Botie Post author

      Thank you Ms Headinmyhands Susan. So glad to entertain you. And thanks for entertaining me when I’m at your (online) home.

  3. Elaine Mansfield

    It’s a stinking shame. Yes, it is. I have the same anti-inflammatory list for the hearing issues that will only get worse in time. All I know to do is stick with the things that bring a little pleasure–and don’t cause problems. Now for a rousing chorus of “We will survive.” I’m glad your vision is intact, Robin. So important to your life.

  4. Annette Corth

    I never noticed that your eyes had anything wrong with them. They are just a lovely, intense brown. If the appearance is the only symptom you have to contend with, not to worry. But the next time we are together, I will move in eye-to-eye to see whether I can notice anything amiss. Another compelling image, by the way. Annette


    It looks pretty spooky to me. But I like how the whole post looks. And it’s very pink. Cheers, Bob.


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