Healing from Loss: Love Again?

Robin Botie being hugged at the Metropolitan Museum of Art by an ancient statue from Mesopotamia or Sumeria or -

I met him at the Metropolitan. It was love at first sight. But I didn’t get his name or number.

Am I ready to start a new relationship? Probably not since I’m asking the question. Sometimes I think I will never allow myself to come close to another human being again. Because nothing lasts forever and I don’t know how much loss I can take.

Shortly after my daughter died I found a small gold ring in her room. A ring, an unbroken circle, symbolizes infinity and undying love in many cultures. But this ring was one of those adjustable bands where the ends don’t meet. As soon as I put it on I knew it would snag on something someday and fall off. Nevertheless, I decided to wear Marika’s ring. That it would be okay when I lost it. I would not regret not tucking it away someplace safe.

Can I treat people this way? Like they are not forever?

How differently would we all live if we had expiration dates stamped on us like cartons of milk? What is safe? When is ready?

I promised myself I would learn from Marika. She lived like the lights could go out at any time, like she had only an hour left. She said, “Mom, get a life.” So maybe …

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7 thoughts on “Healing from Loss: Love Again?

  1. Pingback: Doing Something Dangerous | ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE - EVEN JOY

  2. Lynne Taetzsch

    Robin, Marika’s message is one we can all learn from. I, too, am hesitant about finding someone new to love. I know I’m not ready. But maybe you are.


    1. robinbot Post author

      Some days I feel ready and some days not. Maybe we have enough other good things in our lives. Cheers, Lynne.

  3. Elaine Mansfield

    It seems that love and grief are two sides of the same experience–and if we want to live and love fully, we have to take the hits that come with it. I don’t want the losses, but I want love of all sorts, so will pay the price. I’m with Liz. No men with hearts of stone. I love the Egyptian collection at the Metropolitan and at the Brooklyn Museum, too. Great photo work, Robin. I love a tomb sculpture at the Metropolitan (Greek collection) of a woman holding her grandchild on her lap. Both of them dead, but looking quite at peace. I hoped Vic landed on the lap of the Great Mother, too.

  4. Liz

    Your pictures are getting really good. But i would not advise starting a new relationship with a man who has a heart of stone!


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